Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Caps/Preds pregame

We don't know if we have the patience for this today.

We just came off a game that can be scientifically classified as Really Fucking Boring, and it's just our luck that the Preds are next down the pipe. The Nashville Predators live to frustrate us, that is their modus operandi. They are the boa constrictor kind of predators, don't be fooled by the cool logo--all they want to do is squeeze the life out of us.

Try to contain all your annoying, Predators, because anyone who tries to fuck up Knuble's night will be destroyed. Official policy.


PEKKA RINNE THINKS HE'S TOO GOOD FOR US AWARD

No goalie showdown rematch here. It's Neuvirth vs Anders Lindback in net tonight. This is good because the Caps have a winning record against backup goalies this season--and not good in that Lindback is just as capable of being a circus freak in goal. What on earth do they feed them in Tennessee? My Tenneseean brother in law says possum pie. He appears to be serious.

Shoot everything. Traffic in front of the net. It's Mike Knuble night, so don't pretend like you don't know what to do here.


THE LITTLER MILESTONE

It's MJ90's 100th game! Woo. Feel free to celebrate this with a couple more of those sexy cross-ice passes, Johansson. 


PUZZLING STRENGTH AWARD

Apparently the Preds are pretty good on the power play. Oh dear. Thank God for the Caps' penalty killing situation.


LOWERED STANDARDS AWARD

Let's just try to score more than one goal tonight, yeah? 


LAUGHING EVERY TIME AWARD
David Legwand, why is your name so hilarious to me? This has yet to be determined, but in the meantime it is hard to take you seriously. You are not allowed to score either, however, in case that was unclear.

A capital is a city and cities don't have predators, so fuck you. We lost a game, but it doesn't have to be a streak. Time to stop the bleeding.

Let's go Caps.

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