Saturday, December 10, 2011

Caps/Leafs, 12/9/2011

Now we're even.

It wasn't exactly a 7-1 victory or anything, but it was still pretty decisive. You know why? FOUR POWER PLAY GOALS. That doesn't happen. People don't do that.

Except the Capitals, of course.

Remember how amazing this team is? It's not that hard to remember anymore. Things have been coming together slowly--we were patient, and this is our reward.

The Leafs come out swinging. Let's give them credit, they played good hockey last night--they pretty much dominate the first period, we can't even manage a shot on goal for about twelve minutes. The Leafs are being fast and annoying, but Vokoun makes nine million stops right on the doorstep. Fuck you.

A slash from Jake Gardiner puts the Caps on a power play. We weren't as excited about this as we should have been, because the power play has been highly sketch of late and only recently started to re-light that fire. We should have been excited. Glorious things were coming.

GOAL. Dennis Wideman. Between periods, this happened: 

BROOKS LAICH: Don't stop at one, Dennis. 
DENNIS WIDEMAN: No, I don't plan on it. 

Fucking right he doesn't. 

The Leafs have not learned their lesson yet--foolishly, they give us another power play opportunity right at the beginning of the second with the most hilarious of penalties, too many men. 

Count with me, Maple Leafs! It's easy and fun. 

Patron Saint of the Power Play Dennis Wideman take to the ice again, and the Leafs should be afraid. Perhaps if they had all gotten down and begged to be spared, he would have stayed his hand.

They did not. He made them pay.

Two goals for the Widest of men. KEEP IT ROLLING.

Phil Kessel rudely interrupts our party by scoring some kind of a Leafs goal.

Someone find some dandelions to ward him off.

Another power play for the Caps! FOOLS.

And another goal for the Caps. Bada bing, just that easy.

Here is what my friend Uzair, a Leafs fan, had to say about this:

Uzair: lol Leafs PK
Me: to be fair we were on fire coming into the game!
Uzair: true but still. it's like tacos. say i don't want flies in my tacos. say i'm paid money to keep those flies out.
Uzair: say it's a known issue that is costing me a taco and a chance at the Stanley taco.
Uzair: you know?

Makes sense to me. SORRY LEAFS. We would like to see you succeed but not when you are playing us.

Of note: Alex Ovechkin is everywhere, doing everything, destroying people for the purpose of getting to the puck.

This results in no goals, which is highly unfair of the universe to do, but anyone who is bleeding better make sure they are standing downwind of Alex Ovechkin. He is feeling it, to say the least.

In the third, Cody Franson scores a goal that I am not sure science can justify him scoring. The puck seems to change direction midair.


3-2. The Leafs have a chance to get back in this game. They don't feel like it, I guess, and take another penalty.

Hats hats hats hats. 

People will try to tell you that this was not Dennis Wideman's goal. People will try to take away this cool story with their "facts" and their "goal verification." Don't let them do that. 

Hats were thrown, it's super official.


It's a win, and we are officially back in playoffs position, phew. That was scary for a few minutes, wasn't it, but when push comes to shove, I will put my faith in the boys every time. They seem to be pretty serious about this hockey thing.

Ovechkin is alive, league beware. Mike Green is still out but in the meantime, we have Dennis fucking Wideman. That'll do.

No games for three days. At least you'll have time to buy a new hat. Flyers Tuesday!

Let's go Caps.

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