booooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FLORIDA GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR DIVISION.

OUT.

WE DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU.

HAVE FUN ON THE PLANE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

So I don't know how to make you feel better about that game, that was about as much fun as the Bubonic Plague. Halfway through the second period, I was at peace. We were going to lose. We do that sometimes. Everyone hold hands and take deep breaths. Center yourself.

AND THEN SUDDENLY IT WAS A TWO GOAL GAME. And then a one goal game.

And then--buzzer.

That's just cruel.

I can't tell you how to feel better about the Caps lately. Usually I am pretty good at moving on from things but the Caps are making that tough, because those things won't fucking go away--we move on and we run right into another bad thing, or the same bad things, and I hate losing. HATE. We had a good rush at the end though, and sorry to tell you, Florida, but throwing plastic rats on the ice is weird.

REALLY WEIRD.

Here are some good things:

• Ovechkin takes a puck to the face and comes right back out. He was clearly in a lot of pain but telling the trainers he was fine, and while both of these cannot be true at once, I am proud to have such a tank on my team. 
• Jason Chimera's eleventh goal. ELEVENTH. 
• Good to see that we are capable of scoring more than two goals in a game! This is new! 
• Still a hell of a lot more push-back in this team than there was a month ago, even if they saved it for the last five minutes. 

Things To Cheer You Up:

Here is a pineapple upside down cake. 

Here is Indiana Jones. 

Here is a baby platypus. 

And here is a dramatic reading of "Poker Face" by Christopher Walken. 

Fuck the Panthers. Keep the faith. 

Let's go Caps.