Caps/Jackets pregame

It's no secret that the Blue Jackets kind of suck, but we need to not take this game lightly--taking games lightly is how the Caps crash and burn. I don't need to call your attention to all the games so far this season where the Caps coughed up a lead making fun of the other team's depleted rosters, skating around aimlessly and trying out their new shootout goals while the other team was playing hockey.

Let's not have one of those nights. Let's have one of the nights where we look monstrous.

DON'T YOU DARE HEAT UP NOW AWARD

The Jackets just won their first road game in regulation on Thursday, against the Dallas Stars. Let's NOT make that a streak, shall we? The Caps have already put in their charity hours the last few months being the league's official slump-busters, we don't owe anyone any more of that. No pity for the Jackets' lame-duck season tonight. Load up the shotgun. 

OUCH

Also on Thursday, the Jackets lost their power play QB, James Wisniewski, to a broken ankle. Wish him a speedy recovery, but this can only help to beef up our awesome PK stats.

YEP, THEY'RE HURTING AWARD

Let's play a fun game of "how much would that package cost at the Verizon Center?"

goaLOLtending

Man, I really did not intend this whole thing to just be making fun of the Blue Jackets, but in my defense, they make it pretty easy. Steve Mason's sitting at an .887 SV% and a 3.29 GAA. If you're looking for the problems with the Blue Jackets, here is your principal culprit. Mason has not been the goaltender that they need.


This is a great opportunity to rack up some points, but if we're not careful, we'll walk away with zero. Stay stiff, as Tortorella would say, because that is my new favorite ambiguously sexual hockey phrase.

Make them cry.

Let's go Caps.