Caps fan Christmas wishlist

1. Goaltending--For it to happen, at any point of a game we are playing. 
2. For Alan May and Dale Hunter to actually fight Mike Milbury. 
3. For Ovechkin to catch fire. 
4. 30 goals for Jason Chimera.
5. John Steigerwald to fall through an open manhole into a sewer. A sewer with alligators.
6. A real hat trick for Dennis Wideman. 
7. Cody Eakin to gain 50 pounds of muscle--via Christmas magic and not PEDs, fuck you Steigerwald. 
8. Backstrom to be on the All-Star roster.
9. A holy Christmas blessing upon Mike Green's groin. 
10. More cheating, more trying. 
11. To reclaim the division lead. 
12. For the league to develop a sudden appreciation for defensive defensemen and nominate Karl Alzner for Norris. 
13. To never lose a game by more than two goals again. 
14. Cap space. 
15. For Kuznetsov to kick ass at World Juniors and make every other team jealous of us. 
16. Some kind of vague, ludicrous sequences of events whereby you somehow save a Caps player's life and in return you get rinkside season tickets forever.
17. For Alex Semin to silence the haters. 
18. This Ovechkin ornament. 
19. For there to be no more freak accidents, for hits to the head to be penalized, and for those who are hurt to have a swift recovery. 
20. Stanley Cup--Always.