Sunday, October 9, 2011

Caps/Canes, 10/8/2011

Well, THAT one got interesting, didn't it? I'm going to call it fun and thrilling because we won, and I feel okay about that decision.

Eric Staal, you are on notice. Just because I sort of like you does not mean you have permission to score two goals in our home opener. Go home to Carolina and come back when you've thought about your choices. 

Also of note: I got stuck on a Canes feed this game, which was a surreal experience, let me tell you what. I don't know what they put in the water down there, or maybe the announcers were just drinking straight vodka. That would explain the batshit calling going on there, which I will insert here as relevant and/or hilarious. 

But to the important part--the game, or as it was known for twenty minutes in the Hansen household, "oh my god, the game is on, oh my god". 

In one corner, Tomassss Vokouuu--

--Wait, what? Looks like Neuvirth is starting. Sure, all right, we like that guy too. Anyone trying to create goalie controversy about this may exit stage left at this point, because we do not have time for your shit. 

Innn the other corner...Caaaam Waaarrr--

--Or all right, Brian Boucher. Kind of feel a little jilted by that one, not gonna lie--it's like when you get set up for a blind date with a hot girl but then somehow you end up with her weird cousin instead. Are we not good enough to merit Cam Ward? Are we not good enough? 

Whatever. We didn't even want to go out with Cam Ward anyway. 

Hey, guess what happened in the first period? A whole lot of nothing. Caps were skating around like it was Christmas at the Rockefeller Center, hadn't seemed to have warmed up to this whole "hockey" concept yet. It was during this time that I clean forgot that we have a terrible first period--perhaps in the hope that we would have fixed that over the summer, but oh, what a foolish, blind hope that was. 

I was maybe not the most assured fan in all of the NHL. 

It was also during this period that we had two, count 'em, TWO power plays that we sort of didn't do a lot with. Oh, it all seems so familiar. Caps hockey is back. 

I assume this picture is of them being yelled at. I'd put good odds on at least ten instances of "fuck".

Guess who wasn't messing around on the power play?

It was Eric Staal. Not the most fun goal to watch, it was one of those where Neuvirth was forced to cover the one post and then left the net wide open on the other side when Staal suddenly had the puck. Worst. My tears flowed like the wives of Babylon.

Then there came this ridiculous part of the second period where the boys were skating like men possessed, had all the chances, had all the attack of a Viking raiding party, and for some reason this did not result in a goal. 

There is apparently not a picture of this time, assumedly because all photographers were busy staring in awe. But you know which time I mean.

And then, a ray of light--nay, a goddamn solar flare or something. Some moron decides to just give the puck away to JCar while Semin was wide open and all alone in the Canes' end. You don't have to tell Sasha twice. Off to the races.

Gorgeous, gorgeous goal. Likely impregnated everyone watching.  I have maybe watched it 400,345 times since.

Yeah. That guy definitely doesn't care.

Incidentally, the Canes announcers spent basically the whole first and second periods crushing on Brian Boucher--and now, while I understand optimism about new additions to your team--

--hi there Brouwer--I sort of wonder if they've ever seen Boucher play. If there was a Hall of Mediocre, he'd be a shoo-in, first ballot. The guy's pretty cute, and competitive, possessive of his goal, but--well.

Let's just say the announcers shut up about Boucher after The Most Hilarious Goal In Hockey History ™.

My first reaction: whoa, wait, what? Chimera scored a goal? Answer: sort of! Another replay to watch, if only to discover how the hell it happened. Not too hard of a shot, Boucher seemed to have it, and then somehow it squirted out of his glove, over his own shoulder, and into the goal.

WE'LL TAKE IT. Goal's a goal. We go into the dressing room 2-1.

In the beginning of the third, I was finishing up making muffins, and just walked into the room to see the second power play goal. For a minute I actually thought it was a replay--more or less identical goal to the first one--fakeout, quick pass, empty net, put away by Eric "Crush All Your Hopes and Dreams" Staal, as he's known in the locker room.

This man is now public enemy number one.

It's cool. Tie game. Brooks Laich will save us.

Assist goes to the Carolina Hurricanes, for the 49 penalties they chose to take all within a short interval, leaving us on a 5-on-3, which we basically have to score on or we are all going to feel pretty stupid.

And we do.

Broken power play? What broken power play?

Would have been pretty cool if it ended there, 3-2, but nooo, someone had to score a nasty, malicious, mean-spirited game-tying goal.

Stop trying to win games, Jokinen. I hate it when people do that.

Weird moment at the end of the third when Sasha goes all Bad Sasha and cross-checks the hell out of a guy for basically no reason. Now, Sasha has already scored a goal tonight that could be hung on a wall as art, so he gets a pass for basically anything--still, weird stuff, resulting in a scrum where among other things, one of Semin's necklaces apparently got broken.

(source: RMNB)

Sad. I think he's learned his lesson.

Aaaand overtiiiime. You remember, the thing we did basically every other game last season. Yeah, that.

Very tense at first because we're on PK from Sasha's random burst of temper. We kill it because we have to. I gain a deep appreciation of Roman Hamrlik and his Habs everyone's-a-goalie, block-all-the-shots style of defense.

Then Jokinen take a penalty, and it's our turn.

Yeah. Takes about thirty seconds.

They don't call him Skate Around Aimlessly Till It Goes To Shootout Green. I don't think so. 

(pics from here)

Game over.

THIS WAS AN EXCITING ONE. In the future I would prefer it to be a little less exciting, actually--if the Caps could go ahead and win by a good five or six goal margin from now on, I would appreciate it and so would my blood pressure. Still. Hockey's on. 81 more games. 81 more wins? I really don't feel like it's too much to ask.

Let's go Caps.

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