Wednesday, October 5, 2011

50 things i don't want to see, hear, or think about this season

(inspired by THIS article on this lovely blog)
  1. "chokers" 
  2. Mike Green getting hit in the head
  3. Mike Green fighting 
  4. "a good team on paper" 
  5. injuries anywhere around Matt Hendricks' eye 
  6. Tampa Bay on top of the Southeast Division 
  7. "he just doesn't care" 
  8. Chris Bourque 
  9. other teams' Stanley Cup rings 
  10. the term "Young Guns" 
  11. Shanahan backlash 
  12. Ovechkin vs. Crosby 
  13. Ovechkin vs. Malkin (what?)
  14. Stephen Strasburg
  15. Ovechkin with DJ Pauly D's hair 
  16. Colin Campbell
  17. "goalie controversy" 
  18. false creation of goalie controversy the first time Neuvirth has a great night 
  19. "coaching controversy"
  20. an 8-game losing streak
  21. a 7-game losing streak 
  22. any kind of losing streak over a healthy four or five 
  23. "work myself into shape for the playoffs" 
  24. another President's trophy pennant
  25. "R.I.P (anyone under forty)" 
  26. not being at home with my lucky shirt on when the puck drops 
  27. the words "Mike Green" and "defensively irresponsible" in the same sentence
  28. the word "groin" unless it's related to something sexy 
  29. "weak down the center" 
  30. Crosby's retirement 
  31. "fallen short"
  32. "the Hockey News curse" 
  33. questioning of Ovechkin's captaincy
  34. questioning of Ovechkin's conditioning 
  35. "this team is built to win now"
  36. "and Semin is headed to the box for slashing" 
  37. success for the Colorado Avalanche--sorry--we want that lottery pick 
  38. franchise bankruptcies 
  39. franchise relocation 
  40. "no goal" 
  41. "the window is closing" 
  42. Ted Leonsis's disappointed face (or disappointed blog tone)
  43. "four-game sweep"
  44. any of our players limping to the bench
  45. stretchers
  46. "1-3-1 trap"
  47. puddles on the ice
  48. "disappears in the playoffs" 
  49. the word "slump"
  50. "and the Stanley Cup goes to the Pittsburgh Penguins/Florida Panthers/Carolina Hurricanes/Winnipeg Jets/Boston Bruins/Philadelphia Flyers/Montreal Canadiens/Buffalo Sabres/Tampa Bay Lightning/New York Rangers/New Jersey Devils/Ottawa Senators/New York Islanders/Toronto Maple Leafs/Vancouver Canucks/San Jose Sharks/Detroit Red Wings/Chicago Blackhawks/Anaheim Ducks/Nashville Predators/Phoenix Coyotes/LA Kings/Dallas Stars/Calgary Flames/St. Louis Blues/Minnesota Wild/Columbus Blue Jackets/Colorado Avalanche/Edmonton Oilers". 

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