Caps/Jets, 11/17/2011

Well, that game was about as fun as a stick in the eye. Remember when you thought the Jets were cute and endearing the way you think that kind of thing about a newborn foal? That time has passed.  However, I have to stop cheating and skipping out on recaps where we lose badly, so I'm not this time. Here is the recap! It may possibly include more videos of accordion players than entirely necessary but here it is nonetheless. Progress?


The game starts on a relatively high note.

Sasha goal! This is great and all but I am now EXTREMELY MISTRUSTFUL OF SCORING FIRST, because when we do that we always fucking lose. As a precaution, we should just never do that again.

The downhill slide starts, and we're struggling for possession, but not everything is terrible yet. At some points, there are sequences that have the exact appearance of leading up to things getting done. But things do not get done. Danger, Will Robinson.

Thing that we saw coming from furthest away:

Of course it's Evander Kane. Isn't it always Evander Kane?

I am not yet in a panic, because its only a tie game and we haven't had the best first period so far this season--meaning that the next two periods should still be just fine, right?

After two minutes of play, I am panicking again. Sometimes the boys looked alive, and other times it was like watching five-year-olds playing tyke hockey who fall down on breakaways and skate into the walls just to stop. Laich gets perhaps the most open net he will ever see this side of heaven.

Doesn't score.

To make things worse, stupid Evander Kane scores again.

THANKS A LOT EVANDER KANE FOR BEING SO FUCKING GROSS.

We get basically unlimited PPs and we are unable to capitalize. The Jets are not having this problem, and by the end of the second period, we are down 4-1.

4-1. Four to fucking one.

Emergency kitten:

Emotions stabilized. At least for now.

There are some Issues going on and I am thinking that in the third period, maybe the Caps should think about scoring some goals.

Maybe three goals. Possibly four.

Nope.

On the upside, here is a video of a man playing the accordion very, very fast:

Neuvirth takes a tripping penalty, which is never not funny, and Jeff Halpern flattens a referee.

These are the only good things in the world. What is happiness? I will never know it again. Or at least not till Saturday.

Loss.

Winnipeg "Hey Hey Hey Goodbye"s us. ??? It's November. Should someone explain this to them? I know it's been awhile.

Sure not looking too good right now, is it?

But just think about what a great Lifetime movie this will make when we band together and forge bravely back to the path of victory and win everything. So beautiful. Everyone will cry. Alexander Ovechkin will be played by Robert Pattinson or some kind of nonsense.

No joy without adversity. Adversity is awful while you are in the middle of it, but in the meantime, you can make these bacon cheddar muffins and that will distract you.

Toronto Saturday. They're not doing so hot either, so it's a different kind of Thunderdome. Two teams enter, one team ends the skid.

That'll be us.

Let's go Caps.