Caps/Montreal pregame

So, uh...nowhere to go but up, right?

That's the theory anyway. If you watched the game yesterday, I know you're probably not feeling like turning on another Caps hockey game today, they didn't really make a convincing case for that.

But that was against the fucking Islanders. I know there's no excuse for that kind of effort, but it helps to remember that some teams are so totally useless that the Caps are much more likely to become useless in return.

Most importantly, it's not like the season is over just because one game really sucked--there's always more hockey to play, and even if the season did end today, the Caps would be in the playoffs. Yes, really--we're still in eighth place, and even when you have a game as bad as that one, they still don't take more than two points. Things are maybe not quite so lost as you felt like they were last night.

Right back on the horse. That's probably a good thing.

THE MEAN STREETS

The Caps' record on the road is not good this year--to put it very, very lightly--but considering how awfully they played yesterday at home, where they've been stellar, who the hell knows, maybe it's opposite week.

Four of the Caps' next five games are away; six of their next ten games are away. At some point, if we want to be a playoffs team, we're going to have to start picking up some points on the road.

Now seems good. Is now cool with everybody? Yeah, me too.

PREMEDITATED CRIMINAL ACTIVITY

Everybody knows the Rene Bourque thing is coming. Washington knows the Rene Bourque thing is coming. Rene Bourque knows the Rene Bourque thing is coming. 

I'm sorry, but you don't just get away with concussing our MVP and best player without the entire universe conspiring to drag your ass back to face the music for it. I know the Caps don't exactly have any bone-crushing, legendary enforcers on our team, but we do have Hendricks, and we do have Erskine, and we've got Brouwer's angry words from when Backstrom got hurt that he's going to need to back up. 

Sometimes people confuse the Caps not being fucking undisciplined hoodlums with the Caps not being able to defend themselves. This is a mistake. It's like the difference between being Wolverine and being John Wayne. We don't need to be flipping our lid every five seconds, because what the fuck kind of team does that, but when it's necessary, I feel pretty confident that the Caps can take care of business. 

ZUT ALORS!

Montreal is a mess right now, and a well-publicized one. There isn't really any part of their game that's working, which should make them fairly easy to play, but the Caps will have to be careful not to fall into the same kind of trap as they did with the Islanders.

I get too much mileage out of Katie on this blog, but I can't help including this quote from her a moment ago that illustrates exactly what could be the pitfalls of taking the Habs too lightly: "The Habs are a team that has the potential to be very good and instead have decided to die."

Let's not be that kind of team. Let's beat that kind of team. 

Care about this game, Caps. Care about hockey, or forget the playoffs. Realize that you have to work for it. Don't get frustrated and stop playing when things go wrong. Realize that all the talent you had two seasons ago is still there. It didn't go anywhere. 

Good things will happen. I am personally guaranteeing this, you heard it here first. This week is not going to be a dud because I won't allow it. 

Caps will never lose again. 

Caps/Isles, 1/17/2012

RECAP ACTUALLY LOCATED HERE CLICK THE LINK

Wooo, so this is what the big time feels like.

Success will definitely go to my head.

Caps/Isles pregame

So far the Caps are 3-for-3 on our Softball Homestand, going for about the last easy two points we'll see this season. The Islanders played yesterday, at home, and are traveling to see us today. The Islanders got beat by Nashville yesterday, 3-1. If you're going to win anything, you gotta win these ones.

Up to this point, Vokoun the Caps have been delivering. It's time to make it a clean sweep.

NEWS THAT MADE YOUR MONDAY EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS

Mike Green is having abdominal surgery, and will be out four to six weeks. Sob. 

I hate to say that we're getting used to life without him, but we're getting used to life without him. I would love nothing more than for him to come back, healthy and strong, in fact if I meet a genie this will be the first thing that I ask--but in the meantime, he's going to be out for awhile, so I hope that Wideman and Carlson and Orlov are ready to step up long-term. 

SUPER BIG DEAL JOHN TAVARES

Guy is on a nine-game point streak. It's not going to get any longer. You can take that to the bank.

Sometimes I feel bad for John Tavares because he has to play on the Islanders, but then the Islanders play us and I don't feel that bad anymore. It's worth keeping an eye on this punk. He's always getting scorey and dangerous with us--plus, his eyebrows freak me out. 

WHAT THE FUCK AWARD

Blue-chip prospect Nino Niederreiter has been spending a lot of the time on the fourth line with very limited ice time, which sounds like a great idea to NOBODY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, ISLANDERS. 

NYI's idea of development does not resemble our Earth idea of development at all. However, this can only work in the Caps' favor, as he's playing with pretty poor talent and that line has become a defensive liability for the team overall. They were on the ice for the first two goals against in the Nashville game, and are a combined -27 for the team on the season. 

Basically what I'm saying here is hey look, Caps, a wounded gazelle at the watering hole. Feel free to pounce.  

The Caps got knocked out of their temporary division lead by the Bruins' inability to win a game the ONLY TIME IN THE SEASON that I wanted them to, which just figures. If we want want that good third-place feeling again, they're going to have to win this game. Not to mention, after this one they're headed out to--cringe--the road again, and given our record there, a little bit of a buffer would make me feel much more comfortable.

Two points. Two points. I am a woman obsessed. Islanders suck. 

Let's go Caps. 

i'm pulling for Carlzner

The problem with anything that is absolutely, flawlessly perfect is that if there's ever any regression, if there's so much as a single step back, it's noticeable. That doesn't mean that what used to be perfect is now completely useless and terrible--it mostly means that we're spoiled, but when you're aware that a defensive pairing is capable of being stalwart, productive, responsible, completely precocious for their age and then suddenly they're looking a little average, you can't help but wonder what's going on.

Carlson and Alzner have always been there for us--they've been there during the ugly playoffs series, the losing streaks, they were there during the dark nasty November somehow putting up positive +/- and Corsi ratings in blowout games and generally letting us know that there was nothing to worry about, they had this covered. Perhaps that's why it's so strange to see this pairing on the ice for bunches of scoring chances in recent games, to see them looking confused and out of place sometimes, to see them give up goals. That's not Carlzner, or at least not the Carlzner we're used to.

If this were a Superman comic, this would be the time to start looking around for Kryptonite somewhere in the frame.

There are plenty of possible reasons for this. There's Jim Johnson's new, demanding man-to-man defensive system, there's the world-class lines they're matched up with every night, there's even good old-fashioned regression--after their rockstar season last year, maybe there wasn't anywhere to go but down.

I don't believe that. I'm not looking for reasons to hate anybody on my team, and I'm certainly not going to do it after a short stretch of bad games. Carlson and Alzner need to step up, but I believe that they'll do it. I believe they're going to be a franchise pairing for years to come, and I love them. That doesn't mean that the way they're playing right now is excused, though--the boys need to refocus and get their act together. This is probably how to do it:

I don't want either of them traded. I don't want the pairing split up. I just want them to play like I know they can, and I have complete confidence that they will.

Sooner would be better than later.

Caps/Canes, 1/15/2012

For a random game in the middle of January, this one was ridiculously important. Win this game and we're on top of the Southeast Division again--win this game and we're in third place again.

Well--it wasn't exactly easy, but IT HAPPENED. Do yourself a favor and go look at the standings right now on NHL.com. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Beautiful, isn't it? But like I said, this was hardly a blowout--this was yet another white-knuckle not-breathing squeaker. The Caps are all about those lately. They're addicted to the adrenalin.


I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that nothing happened in the first period. Nothing at all--or at least, nothing good. Vokoun doesn't take any time to warm up tonight, because there isn't any time available. The Canes attack like a team that was NOT playing the Boston Bruins less than 24 hours ago, and obliterate the net behind Vokoun in very short order. He doesn't bat an eye and worries about freezing the puck instead. It is a good sign.

Carlson goes to the box for delay of game. The Caps don't have a shot on goal to this point, but we're used to this. It's a rare night when the Caps have more than 20, 25 SOG anymore. This is still terrifying, but we're adjusting.

The PK is beautiful, aggressive, beyond reproach. No problems there--the problems come with 5-on-5. Puck possession? What's puck possession?

Ovechkin is doing some things but they don't result in pucks in the back of the net, though he does adeptly duck under a crossbar at one point to avoid concussing himself, which we appreciate. Other than that, forecheck seems like something that you daydream of wistfully, but never actually happens anymore. By the end of the period, the Caps are being outshot 13-4.

At the beginning of the second period, Joel Ward has a great chance in the front of the net but the puck is rolling on him. No dice. Then Matt Hendricks tries to get into it with Joslin, and Joslin says no. I don't blame him. It's Matt fucking Hendricks.

Laich crashes the net, and there's no doubt in your mind that it's a goal--but it's such a powerful and aggressive method of scoring that the refs feel the need to review it. You're not worried--but then those same refs somehow lose their fucking minds and decide that this is somehow not a valid goal.

The fuck.


Cody Eakin draws a penalty, and there's an Angry PP. Brooks Laich is growing more thunderous by the moment.

No score. Knuble slashes Skinner, whose sticks are just as fragile as his teenage self-esteem. He goes to the box, and the Caps kill it, because thats a thing that we do these days.

Ovechkin is doing his damndest to wake this game up, and there's even some Alex on Alex action, but at first it's all foreplay. It takes awhile to actually get a coherent play going in the zone, but then suddenly--Mojo to Semin, Semin to warp speed.

Sasha with the money shot.

Beagle goes to the box a few seconds later for elbowing, and for awhile on the PK, and this one is scarier than the other ones, the Canes are buzzing around like the annoying interdivisional fucks that we already know they are.

Vokoun makes a great point-blank save on Ponikarovsky, but the puck skitters out right to Jokinen's stick in front of an open net. It's a layup. Locker later tells Joe B that even he probably could have scored on that one.

1-1.

We've all been waiting for Orlov's first NHL goal. It feels like we've been waiting forever. He rewards us for our patience, though, by showing us that he was waiting for right exactly the right perfect moment to score and be horribly endearing, and win the game for us. The sight of him screaming in his teammates' faces and then nearly losing his balance at the bench is beautiful.

2-1.

Monster shift from Carolina directly afterward--Orlov's goal is somehow negative momentum.

Ovechkin protests this by stepping right into Ruutu and checking him within an inch of his life. It is not his fault that a referee happened to be in the way at the time.

Kundratek gets called for tripping. It's not the best possible timing, but the PK units have got his back. At the very end of this kill, Harrison slashes, and Hendricks responds with a body slam. It results in incidental minors. It is worth it.

Caps are getting outshot to a ridiculous extent. I would call it a thrill ride, but it would have to be the kind of thrill ride where the ride might break and kill you at any moment. There's still eight minutes of hockey left.

According to Joe B, Cam Ward is resisting the advances of the Caps, which is silly. Caps have been wooing so gently, I don't see a reason for it. It's not like you're going to get any better offers, Cameron.

But he keeps his legs closed.

Skinner with a scoring chance. Oh my god, Jeff Skinner, oh my god, I love you, sign my Teen Beat poster.

Vomit.

He follows it up with another scoring chance, and then he tries to jaw with Wideman for a moment. Wideman responds with some mildly amused skepticism back. Jeff Skinner, you are intimidating to exactly no one.

Somehow, somehow, the Caps hang on, and once again the miracle comes in the form of Tomas Vokoun. Haters can no longer feasibly hate. This man has been standing on his head for the Caps for so long now that the blood has all rushed to it, I am sure. At some point, hopefully the rest of the team will decide to play hockey in front of him again, but for the moment, he's got this end of the ice locked down.

Carolina tries to start some shit after the game ends for some reason. No one approves of this, Canes--especially since it leaves Vokoun standing all alone instead of getting his hugs.

(via)

Except for Sasha. Sasha's got him covered.

My friend Alexis has pneumonia and she said that the Caps should win and that would probably cure her, so I have to go call her now and see if that happened. But seriously, please enjoy the Caps' position in the standing right now. That may or may not change with games played this week, but it's a good moment to remind yourself that there's nothing wrong with the season that can't be fixed by a win streak.

The world is right again. Happiness.

Let's go Caps.

Caps/Canes pregame

What a game on Friday, huh? Any game where we get to throw hats is automatically a good one, though the last minute suspense was a little unnecessary. The Caps are in the top 8 now, but Eastern teams are still all awkwardly bunched up together--it's going to be a dogfight just to stay there.

There is no more fun team to strip two points from than the Carolina Hurricanes, though, so I vote we keep the ball rolling. Go go gadget win streak.

THE DEVIL WE KNOW AWARD

The man responsible for a lot of the frustrating defense that we remember from the Montreal/Washington series is now the boss in Carolina, and this is the first time the Caps will have a chance to play them in the Kirk Muller era. Much like the new Hunter Caps, they're still in transition to some extent, but they're starting to show flashes of being really fucking annoying--such as last night, when they beat the Bruins 4-2.

Let's hope the Caps are ready to remind them where their place is in this division--the very bottom of it. 

NO PITY

If this picture of a three-legged dog made you sad or sorry for him, then you are not in the right mindset for this game.

Once again the universe is providing the Caps a team that's struggling badly--fighting the Islanders and the Lightning to stay out of the basement of the East, sitting at a glorious .424 win percentage--and once again, a team on their second night of back-to-back hockey. At this point, these guys need to rebrand from Hurricanes to Mild Tropical Winds, because they ain't blowing over shit. 

Please do not mistake this as an opportunity to sit back, relax, and lose the fucking game, Capitals. By all means, kick them when they're down. This is war. Or it's hockey, which is basically the same thing.

MOST LIKELY TO HAVE HIS WARDROBE CHOSEN BY 

READERS OF SEVENTEEN MAGAZINE

Everyone's favorite dreamboat, Jeff Skinner, may make his return against the Caps--he's been out with a concussion, so we're glad to see him healthy again, regardless of how much more difficult he might make things. 

It's also a good excuse to revisit the beautiful thing that happened the last time the Canes came to town.

(via Dimagus)

The gif that keeps on giving. 

GUARANTEED GOAL

I usually don't even try to goal-call, because I'm bad at it, but Matt Hendricks has had some monster shifts the last few games, a few goal posts--this guy wants to score a fucking goal. I'm going to say it happens. Bet you a case of beer. 

None of this listless hockey shit. None of this letting-them-get-back-into-the-game shit. We've filled our quotas of both of those kinds of games this season, no more are necessary from this point on. Florida has held the lead now for long enough that they're probably getting funny ideas about who runs this division, and a win tomorrow would finally--fucking finally--tie us up for first place in the Southeast. 

So how about two points, yeah? We would love that, and so would the team. Everyone wins. 

Let's go Caps. 

adventure weekend

Apologies for the lack of coverage on the Bolts game, I was not at home. Rest assured, there were hats thrown for Brouwer (!!!!!), an appropriate amount of pride when Alzner took on Steve Downie, and verbal abuse in between for the fucking goddamn fucking Lightning.

Nobody needed to remind you how much you love the Caps this weekend. The Caps more than took care of that themselves.

I hope you all had fun, because I did.

Go Caps.