50 things i don't want to see, hear, or think about this season

(inspired by THIS article on this lovely blog)

1. "chokers" 
2. Mike Green getting hit in the head
3. Mike Green fighting 
4. "a good team on paper" 
5. injuries anywhere around Matt Hendricks' eye 
6. Tampa Bay on top of the Southeast Division 
7. "he just doesn't care" 
8. Chris Bourque 
9. other teams' Stanley Cup rings 
10. the term "Young Guns" 
11. Shanahan backlash 
12. Ovechkin vs. Crosby 
13. Ovechkin vs. Malkin (what?)
14. Stephen Strasburg
15. Ovechkin with DJ Pauly D's hair 
16. Colin Campbell
17. "goalie controversy" 
18. false creation of goalie controversy the first time Neuvirth has a great night 
19. "coaching controversy"
20. an 8-game losing streak
21. a 7-game losing streak 
22. any kind of losing streak over a healthy four or five 
23. "work myself into shape for the playoffs" 
24. another President's trophy pennant
25. "R.I.P (anyone under forty)" 
26. not being at home with my lucky shirt on when the puck drops 
27. the words "Mike Green" and "defensively irresponsible" in the same sentence
28. the word "groin" unless it's related to something sexy 
29. "weak down the center" 
30. Crosby's retirement 
31. "fallen short"
32. "the Hockey News curse" 
33. questioning of Ovechkin's captaincy
34. questioning of Ovechkin's conditioning 
35. "this team is built to win now"
36. "and Semin is headed to the box for slashing" 
37. success for the Colorado Avalanche--sorry--we want that lottery pick 
38. franchise bankruptcies 
39. franchise relocation 
40. "no goal" 
41. "the window is closing" 
42. Ted Leonsis's disappointed face (or disappointed blog tone)
43. "four-game sweep"
44. any of our players limping to the bench
45. stretchers
46. "1-3-1 trap"
47. puddles on the ice
48. "disappears in the playoffs" 
49. the word "slump"
50. "and the Stanley Cup goes to the Pittsburgh Penguins/Florida Panthers/Carolina Hurricanes/Winnipeg Jets/Boston Bruins/Philadelphia Flyers/Montreal Canadiens/Buffalo Sabres/Tampa Bay Lightning/New York Rangers/New Jersey Devils/Ottawa Senators/New York Islanders/Toronto Maple Leafs/Vancouver Canucks/San Jose Sharks/Detroit Red Wings/Chicago Blackhawks/Anaheim Ducks/Nashville Predators/Phoenix Coyotes/LA Kings/Dallas Stars/Calgary Flames/St. Louis Blues/Minnesota Wild/Columbus Blue Jackets/Colorado Avalanche/Edmonton Oilers".