Friday, September 2, 2011

traitorous impulses: Shea Weber

Hockey fact: there are many excellent players on other teams around the league who are Not Capitals. That's unfortunate for them, but their status as non-Capitals does not mean that they are not excellent players and that I don't still occasionally like them. That doesn't mean they are lesser people.

...Well. Yes it kind of does. Because being a hockey player on the Washington Capitals is the best kind of person you can be, and noticing and liking players on other teams still does not mean that I feel sad when my team destroys them and makes them cry. It's important that they not think that they can be More Favorite than the players on my team. That is just foolish.

Still, there are players around the league that I wouldn't mind seeing in red, white, and blue, that's for sure. This is one of them:

You know who it is.

...No? Nothing? Here. How about this:

That's right. It's Shea motherfucking Weber.

Why I like him:
  • young
  • strong as an ox or other load-bearing animal
  • terrifying
  • just coming into his peak years as a player
  • defensively responsible, very physical, and manages to contribute offensively as well
  • that one time he picked Ryan Kesler up by the scruff of his neck 
  • also: playoffs beard

Who I'd trade him for:
Mike Green.

Listen, maybe I'll go on and on later about how despite all the ire Mike Green draws from fans, Mike Green is, in fact, awesome--but I would still trade him for Shea Weber. In an instant. C'mon, that guy should have won the Norris last year, and it certainly wouldn't have been because he's a flashy Mike-Green superstar offensive-juggernaut--it's because he's a bona-fide defensive brick wall. You want to get through Shea Weber? Bring a two other players and a battering ram. While it's great to have someone like Mike Green on your team, I get so concerned about our defensive end sometimes--I would trade up Mike Green's goals and assists for Shea Weber's person-shaped defensive peace of mind.

(Note: he is about the only person in the league I would trade Mike Green for. Watch out, now I am gearing up for a "haters to the left, Mike Green is awesome" post. You've been warned.)

How likely is it that would ever happen:
Like every other blogger out there in the blogosphere, I choose to believe that Weber's one-year deal means that he could be trade bait come deadline--mostly I think because we all covet him. Is it out of the question? Probably. Seismic levels of badassery aside, he's a little out of our price range--but hey, who knows. GMGM has pulled rabbits out of the hat before.


  1. If anyone could grow a respectable playoff beard before the inevitable early exit, it would be Shea Weber